Blokes guide to Pregnancy

Well it’s a week on and I still get the shakes when I see a pram. Got a text last night that my best friends wife’s water has broke. It is officially now raining babies. Everywhere I turn there is someone pregnant and it’s getting more and more frequent that I know the person. I am offically alledgedlly grown up (And so is Dib! Happy Brthday). Well on top of the iminant birth of my friends kid, I’ve read The Blokes guide to Pregnancy and suddenlly it’s dawned on me that

a) At some point a birth is going to happen, it’s going to be scary and painfull and that’s just for me never mind the mum to be!

b) After said birth a baby will appear and I’ll have to look after it.

c) Baby will soon turn into a little person with a personality, hopefully they’ll like me

d) Baby will eventually turn 16 and start having sex with a hairy biker called Geoff, what the hell do I do then! (For the purpose of this post I’m assuming I’m either having a girl or a very camp boy with an affinity to either bikers or men named Geoff).

I have to say the book is cheap, short, a good read and will earn you those ever so valuable brownie points, to Amazon with you! It’s a nice mix of banter and facts, sometimes a little too blokey for my liking and with the amount of times it lurches between blokey blokey football football and give your wife a foot rub, I’m very suspicious of this Jon Smith, he could well be a woman on a crusade to gently get men to treat their wives better. In all seriousness it does a very good job of simply explaining some complicated procedures and jargon, which my wife had no idea about it. (That’s where those brownie points I was telling you about start hitting home).


6 thoughts on “Blokes guide to Pregnancy

  1. I detect here another sign of impending parenthood. It has mussed up yer spelling.

    I wouldn’t mention if if I thought this was normal. But everything was fine until the news of “baby on the way”!

    I mean “Preganancy”? Maybe a sign of over celebrating? In which case, keep up the good work.

  2. Hi,

    Thanks for your kind words regarding my book, The Bloke’s Guide To Pregnancy. I assure you I am a man and those foot rubs WILL get you brownie points.

    Good luck with impending fatherhood!


  3. Cheers Jon, all is going well and your book really did help prepare me so keep up the good work.

    I’ll be looking out for the “how to stop a baby peeing all over you and your bed whilst changing it edition”.

  4. I tried running it past the publishers and they laughed (maniacally) and suggested having the new nappy unfolded and ready, so that when you change the little one, and sense the impending wee squirt……you can catch it with the cradled nappy you have ready in your left hand…..

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